The BONE JANGLER '06: "Black Sabbath"

Watching Nocturna, Coven Girl Mysteria, & I hosting "Black Sabbath" last night, I was pleasantly reminded of what a great show (overall) that was. Dating back to 2006, the show was taped at a time when Nocturna & I were in full swing, and most assuredly at the top of our game. Since then, we've refined , and redefined, our hosting abilities, and everyone who's familiar with our work just takes our professional hosting skills for granted, but, back then, we were just continually knocking 'em out of the park, further, and further, seemingly, with each new show. Blowing people (including ourselves much of the time) away would be a great way to look at it.

I'd picked Mario Bava's "Black Sabbath" for Coven Girl Mysteria's TV debut, as we all loved the film, had never hosted it previously, and the "Drop Of Water" portion of the film scared the **** out of Mysteria when she first saw it as a young girl.

Nocturna's favorite was "The Wurdylak," featuring the narrator of "Black Sabbath," Boris Karloff. Nocturna really enjoys the part where the little boy comes back from the grave, standing outside the door of the house, saying, "Mommy, let me in. I'm cold." It's a creepy scene, one that Young Master Gregory finds to be more than just a little sad. The boy's predicament seems to really resonate with Greggy.

While I love the film as much as anyone, my favorite part of "Black Sabbath" features Michele Mercier in a sexy negligee in "The Telephone." The scrumptious, and still attractive, Mercier plays the part of a Parisian prostitute who, frightened by unnerving phone calls frm her recently released from jail ex-pimp, calls upon a lesbian ex-lover for help. The lesbian subtext was largely erased from the English language version of the film that we hosted, but, savvy viewers certainly
pick up on the angle nonetheless.



Anyway, Mario Bava was really hitting his stride with this film, and, unlike so many other fine, and otherwise, public domain Horror films shown on Horror Host programs, his "Black Sabbath" holds viewers' attention non-stop, from start to finish.

As for our hosting segments, particularly the opening bit, I was really on fire, in what longtime viewers often refer to as "angry BONE JANGLER" mode, which is not to say that I was angry whatsoever, as I was anything but. Longtime viewers just really seem to appreciate it the more growling my voice sounds, especially if I'm up close in the camera, in your face. Additionally, the interplay between Nocturna, Mysteria, & I was obviously quite familiar, lovingly playful, and sexually at ease, just the way the viewers, not to mention us, prefer things.

For a TV debut, I thought that Mysteria did a *great* job, and I rate it as her best work on the show. I remember, at the time the show first aired, back in the summer of '06, that, for whatever reason, some viewers seemed to take offense at her wearing sunglasses, but everyone seemed to be enamored of her bountiful bottom, and thighs.

Of course, Nocturna was as beautiful, sexy, and glamorous, as she always is, wearing a really cool corset, having yet again modified one of the many in her ever growing collection, honing her skills, and paving the way for the design of her best-selling Snake Goddess corset.

Added bonuses sprinkled throughout the 2 1/2 hour show included guest appearances by our good friend, busty Indiana Horror Hostess Demonica, and Micky Dolenz of "The Monkees," with his bit being shot in our ACTV studio. Also included in this show is our notorious Spike TV bit, shot for their "Ghouls Gone Wild" Halloween 2005 weekend programming. Additionally, this show featured the infamous segment of "The Enforcer," where the sandwich-eating/cigarette-smoking private eye comically beats the crap out of a female informant, alternately telling her to "Talk!," and "Shut Up!," between beatings. Add to all of this a generous helping of nostalgic commercials, and Horror movie trailers (including a few anthology-types, just like "Black Sabbath"), as well as our strangely hypnotic Jesus/Nazis/Astronauts mid-series intro, and you have a show that is pretty impossible to beat. I'm pleased that so many of you longtime viewers enjoyed this show, and, clearly, and rightfully so, rank it so highly amongst our collective works.

- The BONE JANGLER
http://www.thebonejangler.com/

The Little King - Larger Than Life: Ronnie James Dio

Sad news for Heavy Metal fans the world over. Ronnie James Dio died at 7:45am, Sunday morning, May 16th.

Ronnie James Dio was born Ronald James Padavona on July 10th, 1942, in Portsmouth, NH. He began his career in Rock -N- Roll in 1957, as a bass player in a band called the Vegas Kings. Before long, he made the transition to lead vocalist, and changed the name of the band to Ronnie And The Rumblers. The band changed their name once again to Ronnie And The Red Caps, and cut a single in 1958 on Reb Records. In 1961, Padavona adopted the last name Dio, taking the name from infamous Mafia member Johnny Dio. In 1967, Dio formed a band named The Electric Elves, shortening the name in 1969 to Elf.

As a member of Elf, Ronnie James Dio opened for the legendary Deep Purple, where he made a lasting impression on guitar hero Ritchie Blackmore. When Blackmore left Deep Purple, feeling that the band had become too commercial, and formed (Blackmore's) Rainbow, he recruited Dio as lead singer, and history was made. "Man On The Silver Mountain," off of their debut album, became an instant hit, and Dio stayed with Rainbow until 1979. Dio's reason for leaving Rainbow? Ironically enough, leader Ritchie Blackmore wanted to take the band in a more commercial direction.

Around the same time Dio became dissatisfied with Rainbow, Black Sabbath's Tony Iommi, and Geezer Butler, fired Ozzy Osbourne for his out of control drinking. Ronnie James Dio stepped in as vocalist, and recorded 2 of Sabbath's finest albums, "Heaven And Hell," and "The Mob Rules." It was during his original 1979 - 1982 tenure as Black Sabbath vocalist that Dio adopted the ages old "Devil Horns" gesture, used in olden days as a method to ward off the "evil eye,"as a greeting to his audiences, and created a symbol that instantly became synonymous with Heavy Metal music.

As the replacement for Ozzy, Dio came under scrutiny by longtime Sabbath fans, fans who argue to this day as to whom was the better lead singer for the band. People need to realize that there is a difference between being a singer, and being a vocalist. I'm far from alone in the opinion that Ronnie James Dio was the best *singer* that Black Sabbath ever had. Ozzy may have the majority of classic Sabbath songs to his credit, but, Dio sang many of them better, especially their theme song, which became a much more evil sounding tune when sung with Dio's incredible pipes.

After a falling out with Sabbath's Butler and Iommi, Dio went on to form his own group, naming it after himself. Throughout the years, Dio would come to alternate between working with his own group, and Black Sabbath, the latest incarnation of which was called Heaven And Hell.

Yesterday, Ronnie James Dio succumbed to stomach cancer, and it was the loss of every Heavy Metal fan, and Heaven's gain. When I think of the classic singers of Heavy Metal, I think of Rob Halford, Bruce Dickinson, and Ronnie James Dio. Ronnie James Dio will be sorely missed, and never, ever, forgotten.

A Mother's Love

Tomorrow is Mother's Day, a day set aside to pay tribute to the women who have freely given so much of themselves to those they love.

While I am truly not from here, I've been here longer than anyone, and know just how special a mother is, and how important a mother is to the development of not only her children, but to the rest of her family as well.

Women are beautiful creatures, to be certain. However, there's something different about mothers, when the whole nurturing angle kicks in. You can always tell the difference between women who've had children, and those who have not, at least I can.

Of course, there are women whom, for whatever reason, are unable to bear children. Many of these women, filled with love, and a desire to raise a child of their own, adopt children, or, at the very least, take an active role in the care of other's children, perhaps nieces and/or nephews, and are every bit as special in their own ways. You certainly don't have to bear children to be a mother. Basically, a mother is someone who infuses a child, or children, with maternal love, and tenderness.

My Earth nephew Greggy, and co-host of "The BONE JANGLER's Daytime Dungeon," otherwise known as Young Master Gregory, will never know his mother, as she died when he was only 1 year old. This fact saddens me, and has, and continues to, move me to tears. A boy needs his mother, especially Greggy, who would only a few years later face a very uncertain future due to a frightening, and rare, medical condition. Many times, I've found Greggy staring out an upstairs window at nothing in particular, and asked him, "What are you doing, buddy?" His answer? "Thinking." "Thinking about what (as if I didn't know), buddy?" "Thinking about bad things." Most often, he was thinking of how he missed his mother. I could go on, and on, and on, about this particular subject, but, I don't want to lose focus here.

Not everyone is lucky enough to have their mother, or even someone who fulfills that role, in their life. For those of you whom haven't spoken to your mother for some time, I ask that you reach out to her, and re-open that line of communication. Tell her that you love her. Even if there's been some incident, or series of incidents, that have caused the estrangement, I urge you to let go of all of that. The past is but a series of memories, some happy, some sad. Life isn't always fair, but, if you're one of the fortunate ones who has, even briefly, known a mother's love, then, you know that this is a special gift, and one to be treasured. Don't let old wounds, physical or emotional, hurt you, and others, in the now, for the present is all that you really have.

Mothers everywhere, I salute you. Know that you are loved. I know that you are. I know this because I love you.

"Nightmare On Elm Street"

On Saturday afternoon, I took Young Master Gregory to see the movie he's been waiting for since he first saw the trailer for it months ago - "A Nightmare On Elm Street."

Greggy's always been a Freddy fan, much moreso than I have been. I'm all about the Michael Myers. In my book, the original "Halloween," and "Halloween II," are perfect, and, while I did enjoy both of the Rob Zombie remakes, like many, I am firmly of the opinion that there was no need for either of them. The same can be said of the Wes Craven's "Nightmare On Elm Street." However, Hollywood, seemingly bankrupt of ideas, has chosen to remake the 1984 classic, and, whether anyone agrees with this, or not, they own the rights to the franchise, not the fans.

I want to the theater on Saturday with an open mind, despite reading many a 1, and 2, star review of the picture. Greggy, well, he just wanted to see Freddy tear it up. As we entered the box office area, it was obvious that most of the people in line ahead of us were there to see the same movie as we were. It was also obvious that some of these people knew who we were, despite our best attempts at blending in with the mortals. As we approached the ticket counter, we were greeted by yet another Bone Jangler fan, and were promptly granted free admission. No matter how bad this remake might be, the price was certainly right. Next up was the ticket taker, still another Bone Jangler fan. After exchanging pleasantries, Greggy & I made our way to the concession stand. One free bucket of hot buttered popcorn, and 2 Cokes, later, we headed towards our seats, and settled in for a seemingly endless barrage of television commercials. At least the one for ABC's "Castle" (a show I do enjoy, their Halloween episode was waaay cool) featured the stunning Stana Katic. Anyway...

Finally, the movie began, and, all eyes were glued to the screen, let me tell you. No one got up to go to the bathroom. No one left to get a refill. No one texted their friends. The movie held the audience's attention, through, and through. While this remake doesn't have the luxury of a Johnny Depp starring role, it does have an attractive young cast of taleneted young actors, and actresses. The ever impressive Kyle Gallner (he played "Colin" in the much maligned guilty pleasure, and Megan Fox vehicle "Jennifer's Body") is particularly effective as Quentin O'Grady. Rooney Mara does an outstanding job as "Nancy Holbrook," originally portrayed by Heather Langenkamp, and gorgeous Katie Cassidy cranks the T & A volume to 11, as "Kris." Cooler still is the casting of Clancy Brown, "Brother Justin Crowe" of the beloved, and dearly missed, "Carnivale."

Of course, the controversy here is that Robert Englund is no longer "Freddy Krueger." Yes, Robert Englund owned the character, having instantly made it his own. However, the character became overtly campy, nearly, if not completely, to the point of self parody. Besides, in Englund's estimatation, he doubts that he could pull off the character at this point, and has happily handed the baton to Jackie Earle Haley, a capable actor, to say the very least, and one adept at playing just this sort of character, as evidenced by his role as "Ronnie J. McGorvey" in "Little Children."

In this movie, Freddy's origin, of sorts, or, at least the story of how he came to be burnt to a crisp is much more thoroughly explored than in the original movie. It has been written that this is "the most unnecessary back story ever seen in any movie." I heartily disagree, and these scenes are amongst the ones I enjoyed the most, watching Fred Krueger, friend to all children, before the kids began to tell their parents about his "secret cave." These scenes do a lot to flesh out the character's origin, without being so graphic as to be inappropriate for Young Master Gregory's eyes. Yes, in this day of gore, and spectacle, there is still plenty left to your imagination in this picture, believe it, or not.

The film is full of scares, some recreated from the original, and the finale is top notch, and memorable. Don't listen to the critics. Most of them don't care for this sort of film in the first place. "A Nightmare On Elm Street" is must see viewing for true Horror fans everywhere, at least the ones under the age of, say, 50 years old.

- The BONE JANGLER

http://www.thebonejangler.com/

People Were Wondering...

When I appeared at the recent history-making HorrorHound Weekend

convention in Indianapolis, people were wondering, "Where's Nocturna?"

While this wasn't the first time I'd appeared at a convention without the

Queen, it was strange for her not to be at an event of such magnitude.

Well, the reason why Nocturna wasn't at HHW is because she was

honoring a previous commiment to her corsitierre, Brooke Au Buchon.

Nocturna has designed a corset of her own, the Snake Goddess cincher,

and it was displayed quite prominently at the Jim Thorpe Burlesque

Festival, which took place in Jim Thorpe, PA on the same weekend

as HHW.

Nocturna's corset has been a huge hit for Brooke's Dragontown

Corsets operation, and is another example of Nocturna's many

talents.

- The BONE JANGLER

http://www.thebonejangler.com/

This Is Going To Be Good!

I'm really excited about an interview that I'm conducting. The
subject is someone that every true Horror Host fan should
know. It should be done soon, and online shortly thereafter.
I'll keep you updated as to the when, and where, of it all!

Now, I've gotta get back to hanging out with Young Master
Gregory. We're out cruisin' in the strectch hearse, listening
to old school Metallica ("And Justice For All," and Van Halen
("Women And Children First"). I love Saturdays!

- The BONE JANGLER

Life's Simple Pleasures

As my friend David Naughton once said, "I'm a Pepper," a fan of Dr. Pepper. When served from a fountain, in a cup, with crushed ice, I refer to it as my "elixir." Now, after scouring the town in search of just the right mix between syrup, and carbonated water, I've deciphered which places have the best tasting Dr. Pepper, and only buy it from those places. Nocturna, of course, cannot figure why I needed to do all of this scouring, and, obviously, with me being as omniscient as I am, I didn't need to. I just thought it'd be fun. What's more fun is the fact that I usually don't pay for my magical elixir, as, most everywhere I go around this neck of the woods, more people than not seem to know who I am, and are fans of both "The BONE JANGLER," and "Daytime Dungeon," programs, and refuse payment.

Tonight, not only did I receive my Dr. Pepper free of charge, but, there were 3 gorgeous ladies (2 moms, and a teenaged daughter) who, after getting over their intial surprise at seeing BONE DADDY inside a gas station (gasp!), basically lined up, and took turns hugging me repeatedly, and telling me how much they love me, how beautiful Nocturna is, and how adorable Young Master Gregory is.

People who are only vaguely familiar with what I do (television) often wonder why I continue to do this, after all these many years, for little to no money. If they saw what goes on, like what happened this evening, for instance, they wouldn't ask me such a silly question.

- The BONE JANGLER